Love is a deepening, not a new beginning. Discovering love with another does not reset who you have been. Life does not restart once love finds you, it simply recasts that which came before, both the beauty and the pain. Life before love is not desperate though it may be flush with unquenched longing. Romantic love is but a more brilliant side of the many faceted diamond that is available to us each and every day in the meals and laughter shared with those who are not frightened by our unvarnished nearness. Life is ripe with unacknowledged loves, love is awaiting discovery in those shaded places.
Meditation at Lagunitas
All the new thinking is about loss.
In this it resembles all the old thinking.
The idea, for example, that each particular erases
the luminous clarity of a general idea. That the clown-
faced woodpecker probing the dead sculpted trunk
of that black birch is, by his presence,
some tragic falling off from a first world
of undivided light. Or the other notion that,
because there is in this world no one thing
to which the bramble of blackberry corresponds,
a word is elegy to what it signifies.
We talked about it late last night and in the voice
of my friend, there was a thin wire of grief, a tone
almost querulous. After a while I understood that,
talking this way, everything dissolves: justice,
pine, hair, woman, you and I. There was a woman
I made love to and I remembered how, holding
her small shoulders in my hands sometimes,
I felt a violent wonder at her presence
like a thirst for salt, for my childhood river
with its island willows, silly music from the pleasure boat,
muddy places where we caught the little orange-silver fish
called pumpkinseed. It hardly had to do with her.
Longing, we say, because desire is full
of endless distances. I must have been the same to her.
But I remember so much, the way her hands dismantled bread,
the thing her father said that hurt her, what
she dreamed. There are moments when the body is as numinous
as words, days that are the good flesh continuing.
Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,
saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry.
Letters to Lost Loves is a full length album and a collection of short stories.
Sorry, it’s not my fault that the two friends I’ve wanted to release full length records launched their kickstarters within a week of each other. But take a second to watch Tyson’s video.
A good friend of mine, an amazing musician and carpenter, has finally recorded a full-length record. Watch him make a checkerboard by hand here, and then give him some money to help him get the music out.
We give you thanks for the babe born in violence.
We give you thanks for the miracle of Bethlehem,
born into the Jerusalem heritage.
We do not understand why the innocents must be slaughtered;
we know that your kingdom comes in violence and travail.
Our time would be a good time for your kingdom to come,
because we have had enough of violence and travail.
So we wait with eager longing,
and with enormous fear,
because your promises
do not coincide with our favourite injustices.
We pray for the coming of your kingdom on earth
as it is around your heavenly throne.
We are people grown weary of waiting.
We dwell in the midst of cynical people,
and we have settled for what we can control.
We do know that you hold initiative for our lives,
that your love planned our salvation
before we saw the light of day.
And so we wait for your coming,
in your vulnerable baby
in whom all things are made new.
My brother Joseph Carlson is recording his first EP. It’s going to be really good. I’m currently in San Diego capturing some of the recording process. Here’s a little behind-the-scenes I put together from Day 2.
A big thanks to brother Elias for this
Meet Jack English, a 93-year-old legend who lives in a cabin isolated deep in the Ventana Wilderness, California.
While on a hunting trip he learned that an old homestead was put up for auction by the estate of a childless heiress. He put a bid on the property and won. On the land he built a small cabin using materials from the land and milling trees by hand. When his wife passed away, Jack effectively left “society” and moved to the cabin full time.
Filmed and contributed by Grace Jackson.
Such a life is certainly not for everyone, but I have to believe that our society benefits from those few who remind us that thrift, hard work, and independence are virtues to strive for.